Opposites

            

      The theme of opposites is woven throughout the tale of Alice in Wonderland.  Not only opposites in the sense of black and white, but opposites in what one would expect to be normal as well. She is first met by a rabbit who is the opposite of what one would expect a rabbit to be, and in addition he can't decide whether to say good bye or hello. Alice is always growing from one extreme to the other, and eventually has to learn that to get to a place you want to go, you have to walk in the opposite direction. Even when the Queen of Hearts wants to kill Alice off, she wants a sentence first, verdict later.

     Lately I have been thinking a lot about opposites in my life. Just as Alice encountered many things that were hard for her to make sense in Wonderland, I too have encountered opposites in Wonderland that cause one to ponder.  Often when thinking of opposites one thinks of two different things. Black, white. Tall, short. Loud, quiet. Empty, Full.  Some of the strange opposites I have come across are of being alone vs. being alone, of silence vs. silence, and of love vs. love.

     I could probably ramble on about each of the opposites I listed above, as well as a few others. I wish to focus my reflection on silence vs. silence.  I am a person who has never enjoyed being alone. It doesn't matter if someone else is right next to me, or just in the same house as me.  A lot of that has to do with silence.  Silence can be cold and smothering.  I remember sitting in my old college apartment feeling like the silence there would consume me, it felt so heavy and cold that it almost seemed to be alive.  It’s the kind of silence one has to endure when you know someone is getting ready to tell you some bad news, but they prolong the delivery.  On the other hand, silence can be warm and inviting. The only way I can think of to describe a warm silence is leaning against a tree on a warm sunny day reading a good book. 

     There have been times in the last month where the same silence has felt both warm and cold within seconds.  When around other people, their moods can influence the silence. When I am home alone, the only thing that can influence the silence is me.  Recently I have been doing my best to play uplifting music, read good books, and just enjoy the time I have to myself.  My attitude has been greatly improved as I have tried to recreate the warm silence that I have enjoyed in the past.  So silence is again becoming my friend. Such a fickle thing, silence; on one hand so cold and smothering, yet on the other warm and inviting.